Dis Girl Sef

I have spoken in English, you didn't listen. I tried vernacular
without seeing any meaningful transformation in your attitude. My
mangled French hasn't helped. Either I don't speak well or you don't
hear well. Now, I've made up my mind to make this last effort to speak
to you in country-man language.

Dis girl! Dis girl! Dis girl! How many times I call you?

Your papa don talk tire. Your mama join, come lose in voice. All
because of your waka waka. We go run comot because of you?

Your papa no fit pay rent for de two-room face-I-face-you for
Ajegunle, but na VGC address you de circulate for city.

Your mama no know road go Abuja but your mouth don reach every
European capital wey your body no follow go.

Your chief for village still de use 3310 while 'im wife de manage R220
but na Blackberry Torch you de request from your bobo.

Nobody for your lineage get bicycle spoke, but pesin wey no carry
Hummer no fit give you lift sef.

Your carry-over for school still remain two years after your mates don
graduate because na for only hotel rooms you de attend classes.

Na Mama Nkechi akara be your breakfast before but now you de claim say
you never take anything other than poulet breakfast (whatever that
means).

We know say you be original Mgbeke, but now na Mary Kay and Brazilian
hair de comot your mouth.

As I talk before, we no go run comot for you. I don talk my own. Na
sleep I de go sleep. Now wey I don talk my mind, na sleep I de go
sleep *hiss*

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