Izuu's Turn

My calculations: more people seem to have been killed in God's name in our recent history, than through other crimes. The God I know is the omni-potent (all powerful), all merciful and all knowing. In spite of our professions of his mercy, we keep killing people we see for a G(g)od we have not and may never see. I think that government should think of a legislation against fighting for God no matter the provocation. But I know that is one thing none of our (mis)leaders will do. Reason: so long as our gullible minds remain riveted on a God we don't see We'll be too blind to see the plunder they are making of our national wealth Like I always say: I long for the day the common Nigerian will know where to channel his/her angst Our economic woes did not arise from so-called blasphemy by our neighbours But due to the kleptomaniacs that have stolen their way into power since independence A leaking bag can never get full until the hole is found

I've given this a great thought and I hope you will get around to reading this. Your children are wayward because of two things: 1) You have always aided them in evil, and 2) You have always condemned other people's children for no just cause. I was talking with someone who proudly told me that someone wrote exams for him with his parent's consent. I have also had solicitations in the past to do same, but I tell you: I'll be buried first. The worst legacy a parent can give his or her child is that of letting the child know that he or she can never pass exams by him/herself. It's like producing a fake item. For instance, if the child becomes a doctor afterwards, how confident will you as a parent be to go to him or her for treatment knowing how you produced him or her. A parent who cautions a child against stealing and helps the same child cheat in exams is still encouraging criminality in the child! Other people's child are al

http://www.leadership.ng/nga/articles/38483/2012/10/27/katsina_builds_house_nigerien_governor.html After reading the news above, I am convinced that we are either being governed by fools Or we, the governed are the fools! Northern governors have often complained of having less money than their southern counterparts I ask: How does this story justify the veracity of their claims? Now Katsina is exporting help, building "befitting" homes for governors in foreign countries If I still remember where Niamey is, the last time I was there (Niger Republic borders Katsina, but the capital Niamey, is even closer to Sokoto State than it is to Katsina) It is no way near Katsina, and this governor in his Nigerian political wisdom, Uses public funds to build a house for another governor in a foreign country And what does Katsina get: The house is named Katsina House! I may not be qualified to talk about this But I wonder why everyone is blaming the central government When

As the noise increased, People were running helter-skelter: Mothers shouting the names of their children To make sure they are all in the house, Possibly under the bed; Fathers shouting at the entire family For silence, as if that will stem the bomb  And automatic rifle explosions  That truncated the evening peace of the  Once sleepy city. I tried to call my friend s But the network companies have joined  The attackers in shutting the entire town off. No call could go out and none could come in. We were officially incommunicado. And as I looked at the horizon of the fast fading daylight I could see the hellish glittering of heavy blasts As my eardrums are shattered with the sound. I wouldn't blame daylight for taking such a fast retreat Being afraid of its own life as we all are No one seems to know what's going on Speculations are rife in the neighbourhood The sound concentrates on one part   of town As we could hear as the who

I tried singing the national anthem this morning and to my chagrin, I've forgotten some of the lyrics. Do you blame me when some of our leaders only know the first line? At least in my case, I was merely confusing the lines of the first stanza with those of the second! I have always believed that the anthem should be changed entirely because the words sound hollow. I quarrel with the following lines "The labours of our heroes past/ Shall never be in vain." And I ask, what labour? If a country like the US, Australia, Malaysia, UAE, Israel, Western Europe talk of heroes and their labours, it makes sense. One can see what the fruits of their labours till date. Last year, France celebrated 100 years of metroline and 101 years later, we're still planning just like every other thing we are planning. Of course, the labours of our villains past were not in vain. They sowed the seed of discord that is tearing the nation apart today. We were told in primary

It's no longer news that Achebe's There Was A Country , has generated myriad reactions from Nigerians. Some of the comments range from the sensible to the ridiculous. One of such senseless, irrational comments said Achebe is jealous of Soyinka (a Yoruba) for the later's Nobel Prize for Literature. As such, Achebe used his memoir to vent his anger against Yorubas!  And I ask, did Soyinka get a Nobel cause he is Yoruba?  Has Achebe not  received a Nobel because he is Igbo? There's only one rational answer to both questions: NO! It's mainly in Nigeria that inconsequential things become consequential and vice versa. Most of us haven't read Achebe's book and a good number of those speaking grammar on the subject in the media were not active participants in the war. All they know: Achebe has declared war of words on Yorubas and it is the duty of any responsible Yoruba to defend. On the other side, Achebe has said the truth about what Awo did to t

 I once heard this: "A white man once observed that Nigerians are very happy people especially when they are travelling in automobiles because they are always dancing. The Nigerian with him laughed because he observed that the so-called dance was due to the pothole-ridden roads on which we are condemned to travel all the time." I remember reading Soyinka's The Road (perhaps for which he was made the first Corp Marshall of the Federal Road Safety Corps by one of our intelligent  leaders). I expected to see him talk about the roads as they are today, but he was more preoccupied with Say Tokyo Kid, the enigmatic motor-park Professor, and the metaphysical hocus-pocus of killing dogs on the road as sacrifice to Ogun. From the days of Soyinka's The Road , to these days, our roads have received everything save improvement. They have become death-traps. We may not have accurate statistics, but our roads may have killed more people than air crashes, diseases and even B

I once read: "In getting rid of shyness, we have destroyed real shame!" I can't remember where I read it But the meaning reads true ... We're more concerned with shyness And so have truncated real shame It is lack of shame That will make a community Round up four youths Club them to the ground And roast them with fire It is lack of shame That makes someone rationalise Mass murder, kidnapping, and the likes Either in the name of God Or in that of redressing a wrong It is lack of shame That makes politicians Promise to alleviate poverty Only for them to steal so much That poverty greys into penury It is lack of shame That makes multinationals Take so much from the people Then bribe the self-appointed leaders In order to hide their crimes It is lack of shame That makes it possible That people acquitted of graft In our courts, are tried, convicted And sentenced in other climes It is lack of

When they said, "Wonders shall never end," some of us thought Innovations that will surpass today's technological inventions Would emerge in large numbers and overwhelm the people positively But rather what accosts humanity is the proliferation of sundry vices and wickedness One that has dumb-stricken me in recent times Came as BBM to my wife's phone And it said a 9-month old baby was stolen in a church at Abuja With the message came the pictures of the "sister" who abducted the baby and that of the innocent boy I am not talking here about the wickedness of this kind of act Because diverse preachers have harped on it in several ways And to show that no one is listening, this lady perpetrated this act inside the church: Made away with another woman's baby On the same Sunday that a church was bombed for the umpteenth time in Bauchi I am prompted to write this because on Monday morning I opened my FB page and one gu

In case you are wondering, LGBT means Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender people I like Obama; a lot I like people, a lot of people As a good Christian, I love everyone including LGBT folks They are human beings, not animals I don't understand the selective barrage of condemnation against people who have chosen to use their bodies in specific ways It's not my place to judge them After all, going by Christianity and may be Islam teach (I stand to be corrected here), all sinners will not make it to Paradise So, sin is sin and whether you heterosexually pilfer your neighbour's spouse or you steal millions meant for the poor, you will still go to hell no matter your religious grand standing My take: so long as they are consenting adults, they are as good or bad as every other person who flouts God's laws in any way. Liars Fornicators Swindlers Gossips and rumour mongers Murderers (no matter the self-serving religious justification) Bribe takers an

I have often pondered this What is it that great fiction writers and gossips Have in common? Answer: Both can make up tales But while the former have produced Great people in every epoch Shakespeare, Goethe, Dickens Our own dear Soyinka, Osofisan, Achebe So many of them from different periods Producing immense literature of worth The latter has created crises in every era Producing no notable work Nor persona They remain irreverently unknown Inventing and dispensing spurious stories About people they envy The interesting part is where both differ Where the gossip keeps busy with tales of others Using the crudest of person to person communication Wasting human hours in telling tales to irrelevant folks And talking him/herself into penury The writer sits in his/her room Puts the inventions on paper Reaches more people than s/he will ever meet Allowing his/her creation into palaces and royal courtyards And in turn makes not only fortune but fame Are you a

I woke up this morning to a ping from an unmarried BB lady friend. Her concern: age-long issue of marital infidelity. Her claim: Numerous married friends of hers are caught up in marriages where their husbands cheat. My take: I don't really care who cheats the more in marriages. This is because I'm a firm believer that marital infidelity isn't gender-based. Cheating in marriage is as bad as every other misdemeanour that spouses indulge in. A simple question: who would you choose between an abusive and an unfaithful spouse? What of one who doesn't cheat but never tells the truth about anything else? What of another that doesn't cheat but the only time s/he had been sober for sometime was at the altar? Apart from all these, I am astonished as to why an unmarried woman would be scared of her husband cheating on her; When in actuality she has barely been faithful to her boyfriend? How does a lying spouse expect an angel for a partner? How does one ex

I remember back in Primary School Whenever we are asked to fill a form I will put 3rd or 4th August on the DOB column This happened until one teacher discovered The disparity in the dates I have been supplying Trust those women: I was flogged and sent home To ask for the actual date from my mother I still wonder why I was whipped But I still asked my mother for the correct dates And she supplied it: 24th August... That date was yesterday Do you know what? She forgot. So did her husband! They both forgot it was my birthday And while you are about condemning them So did all of you; my fiends, sorry friends Save a few Why did you? I know why Cause I did a little experiement I tinkered with my birthdate on FB And because FB didn't get it right All my friends forgot It tells me one of many things: There are friendships that are dependent on Social media alone! Should they remain there? I don't know. You tell me! Tho

Yes, I am not surprised And so are other compatriots Who are honest to themselves Let's stop the pretence Did we even plan to win Or to send people who will end up Getting overblown estacodes? China and the USA that are doing relay At the top of the medals table Did not start planning yesterday And did I hear that people of Nigerian Parentage won medals for other countries? Yes, they did! But thank goodness they aren't competing For their fatherland Because the incompetence that has become us Would have robbed off on them! Honestly! I sometimes wish my grand parents Were among the slaves taken to the Americas Perhaps if they had survived there, like they did here I may have been a Usain Bolt, A Martin Luther. A Mohammed Ali. A Michael Jackson. A T.D. Jakes You name them! At least, I would be among people who value The sanctity of life Believe it or not Racism any other place Is better than the inhumanity that

(According to the Gospel of Naijalooters) (1) And seeing the multitudes,Corruption went up into Aso Rock; and when he was set, the politicians came unto him. And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying: (2) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the nation. (3) Blessed are they that rig elections, for they shall be elected. (4) Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly. (5) Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after public funds; for their accounts shall be filled. (6)  Blessed are the bribe-takers, for they shall obtain in foreign currencies. (7) Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers, for they shall loot in subsidies. (8) Blessed are the bootlickers, for they shall be called the Federal "Executhief" Council. (9) Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption's sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth. (10) Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate

In order not to further anger myself, I have refused to calculate how much $600,000 is in local currency. That notwithstanding, I am aware  of how many lives it can change. Yet, it is offered as bribe to someone, so that he can commit a crime! The person offering the bribe And the one collecting Are the same!  Guilty, no matter their excuses: "I gave to implicate" or  "I collected to expose" All are lies! This is a true case of  everything that is wrong with my country! Moneybags, who do not  have carrying limits And politicians, who for want of conscience Are planted to do the bidding of those who will rather die than to see the country get better! When my people say, that "Crises in the land is to the benefit of titled  men!" Little did I know they were talking of the entire country. The problem with Nigeria  is simple: People who are benefitting from the commotion, will never stand by and see a solution come.

A write up from a person whom I share in his view Peter Olumuyiwa On hearing about the plane crash, I decided to board a cross country bus back 2lagos,after all passengers were boarded, a customer asked the driver to put on the ac,the drivers' response was "its not working",everyone on board took it as fate including I, saying to myself " just get me to lagos ac or not" but the dissatisfied customer did not however stop,he called the customer care number on his ticket,& insisted that the reason he travels cross country is because of their services,and asked why this was changing,to my greatest surprise,the bus was changed and an air conditioned bus was provided, that's when it struck me. shame on the person that sent a broadcast saying he had flown in the said aircraft before, and witnessed the problems. why did he not send out a broadcast then and perhaps his complains might have reached the aviation minister, shame on the engineers that are just tel

"In 1985, my primary school teacher told me that General Babangida was the president and General Buhari was the former president. She also said that we are the leaders of tomorrow. Twenty seven years later, both Babangida and Buhari are still vying for presidency. Therefore, it is either my teacher lied or tomorrow is yet to come" This is a full text of the BB Message I received yesterday on the 13th Democracy day celebration for Nigeria. I have placed side-by-side, above, two facts that will aid us in recalling the not too distant history of the beginnings (or entrenchment) of Nigeria's downward slide into the spheres of systemic corruption, unemployment and extreme poverty. I almost started by saying that I do not want to be biased, but I am reminded that it is often those who openly claim not to be biased that end up being the greatest of bigots! What else do you want me to say? "1986 Deadline" perhaps stated in 1985 or earlier than t

It has started again. They are taking their positions Digging into their trenches Cleaning up and arraying their arsenal It is the same cry all over again Mewing! Braying! Mooing! Bleating!  Shouting! Cursing! Abusing! Swearing! Shouting foul even before the contest begins They are angling all over again Like white vampires and black witches Honing their talons and canines For the blood-sucking spree They are scheming early again Plotting selfishly for the suffering people's death Even when they are still expecting  gains of democracy Promised in the last elections Now, it is the war of words all over again And we foolishly, like sacrificial lambs Already in tow, taking sides, lining up  For our own massacre at their selfish altars Taking up our usual stupid defence; Religion. Tribe. Class. Refusing to learn from experience that Hunger does not know creed nor ethnicity Idiots. Stupid fools. Block heads! Those we have bec

I woke up in the morning Something must have aroused me Not the timer, or is it alarm they call it these days I was very sure it was something else A feeling ..., a sensing of something good Not my wife's kitchen artistry Because I could have awoken only when it is ready Doing so earlier is just torture of longing With the bed sheets crawling all over me as I stirred I looked around the room Behold, a shaft of light came directly at me Reflexively, I jumped out of bed Slowly crept towards the source of the light What I saw was, in the simplest words, GLORIOUS! Every Nigerian, irrespective of creed, religion or tribe Dressed in resplendent white, going Towards that ray of light coming from somewhere ahead Singing the old national anthem: "Nigeria, we hail thee!" A thunderous, clangorous, united throng! In that instant too, I became transformed  At once, seeing myself floating out of the window And in the very midst of these desirable Nigeria I cou