Izuu's Turn

I've been bothered by this question for some time now. Adjoined to this, I also wonder: If everyone must have an FB account, must we all post comments? If your answer is yes, then must we all write in English given the rate at which misspellings and bad grammar (a lot of people spell grammer) have become the rule rather than the exception. Somebody recently posted a comment on my link (don't look for it, I have promptly deleted it) and I couldn't even read the stuff because it was too long and looked like, but one English at all. I was even tempted to post it here as an example. But I remembered that if you're not one of the culprits, if you check your own wall you will have ample evidence of this linguistic crime. Just as if the volume of English language bastardisation on FB isn't enough, I now ran into a blog that ... oh, my God, defies every logic of English language expression. I will give you a hint, I found while Googling the ABSU gang rape issue ...

I pray you'll find time to read this blog because it took me a while to get these out of him. One of the reasons he gave me is that when it comes to reading that you show no interest. And he is concerned about his children incase they take after you. He regrets the present situation and prays you will find love elsewhere. No. 2 is that you are too desperate to get married, not necessarily to him. How did he know? You talk endlessly about friends and family that just got, will get or are getting married. And you've told him countlessly about wedding colours you prefer. No. 3 You're too suspicious for his liking. He said that rather than call him you call his siblings in order to confirm that he truly went to visit them. No 4 You hardly watch the news. He was embarassed the day you asked in public whether David Mark is Nigeria, Prime Minister. No. 5 You take secret phone calls and he suspects you have other suitors you are lining up incase your plan with him doesn...

I may not be a financial expert, but I know that true wealth is money saved not money spent. Hence, I am not a fan of interminable wage increases in Nigeria (my opinion here only, believing my employers are too busy to read my blog). Seriously, our country would have been better off with much more funds saved for the "rainy day." But the real problem is not the incessant agitation for wage increases. It is rather the squandermania disposition of Nigerian political class. The workers' quest for more money is informed by the knowledge from the days of the military in uniform that money denied the workers is siphoned and placed selfishly in personal accounts abroad. So while politicians are devising how to steal more, they are not alone. ASUU, NLC, TUC, others are on their toes agitating how to reduce the volume of money being stolen regrettably for their (our) personal pockets. Of course, we deceive ourselves if we think that kleptomania left Nigerian politics a...

The urge to write about this has always been on my mind. But I have been deterred by the knowledge that oftentimes we unconsciously force our beliefs on others without considering that their experiences and ours are not the same. A person who lives in a society where you get water at the turning of every tap, may not understand that there are people who trek for miles to get their water even within so-called cities. A person who can have the police come to his/her aid because the neighbour's music is louder than normal, will not understand that people live in places where it could be safer to run into armed robbers than police. Growing up in societies where politicians cower when the people are not pleased, finds it hard to imagine that there are countries where political leaders practice modern feudalism. In essence, living all your life in splendour and comfort insulates you from the harsh realities of living which others are subjected to. For this second group, when ...

Since I watched the infamous ABSU gang rape video online, my itinerant mind has refused to take a nap. Five guys forcefully taking turns on their victim as if they were using a public toilet. And this is somebody's daughter, sister, cousin, niece, possibly aunt and then, mother to be. Perhaps in the future, a son of one of her assailants would ask her daughter out (hoping he doesn't get his father's rapistgene). But this girl's plight is not my primary concern here though I admit that what befell her is condemnable. Nothing she has done warrants such an assault. That said, my theory of rape is simple: Rape exists only in societies where other forms of rape (like economic sabotage, corruption, and sundry crimes) thrive and remain largely unpunished. It then follows that people are most likely to rape others (not only girls) in societies where impunity resides permanently. So, a society that corruption has festered and grown, is most likely to attract this...

They say where I come from that the one-eyed man is always king in the land of the blind. Since nothing was said about the country being ruled by 'fools' (by their own admission), I surmise that it should be a land full of imbeciles. Forgive my bluntness! If you do follow my logic, you will agree that fools do not rule over wise folks. So when our former (are they really no longer in control of power) rulers, and long serving ones at that, publicly call each other fools, who else will know better but themselves and perhaps other 'fools' who have ruled like them? How can a country being ruled by fools and foolishness, by association, ever attain any meaningful development? A nation where illiteracy is so high that even state governors cannot define development. A society where leaders cannot address their people without paper written by deceitful script writers and sycophantic harem of advisers. When leaders embezzle public funds to sate personal greed, how ...

I have spoken in English, you didn't listen. I tried vernacular without seeing any meaningful transformation in your attitude. My mangled French hasn't helped. Either I don't speak well or you don't hear well. Now, I've made up my mind to make this last effort to speak to you in country-man language. Dis girl! Dis girl! Dis girl! How many times I call you? Your papa don talk tire. Your mama join, come lose in voice. All because of your waka waka. We go run comot because of you? Your papa no fit pay rent for de two-room face-I-face-you for Ajegunle, but na VGC address you de circulate for city. Your mama no know road go Abuja but your mouth don reach every European capital wey your body no follow go. Your chief for village still de use 3310 while 'im wife de manage R220 but na Blackberry Torch you de request from your bobo. Nobody for your lineage get bicycle spoke, but pesin wey no carry Hummer no fit give you lift sef. Your carry-over for school still ...

I just hope that this draft will be better than the first one I lost to the combination of NEPA and epileptic internet services! About the title also, it's equally confusing to me. Just make your own title at the end. Courtesy: www.imagetrail.net You are wrong if you think I am going to talk about the myriad crises we have been seeing in this country. My concern is the so-called killer text messages that we have been receiving in recent times: " Pls, don't pick any call with 09141, 111, 04040, it's instant death after d call, bcos over 20 people av died already, pls tell odas fast. It's urgent " read one of the messages that I received from folks who LOVE me more than me! That very evening, I got a total of five such messages with slight variations in their content. One even claimed that a total of twenty people have died. Chei ! People can be gullible here! Fear has become a national past time and some people are deriving pleasure from watching others sq...

Honestly, I would have been well settled at home, probably taken my dinner, a shower and see if I can wrap myself up in a thick blanket to keep the cold away. But here am I by the side of a busy road, waiting endlessly for the mechanic that took an hour and thirty minutes to come. The drizzling rain means that my thin T-shirt has no answer for the buffeting cold that is torturing me. I have also been tormented by unsolicited sympathies from characters I will be better off not knowing. Now don't take that last statement wrongly. I am not one of those frustrated guys who hide their own deficiencies by putting their noses in the air. My reason for preferring not to know them is because they obviously were watching and discussing me. Seated among them is a student of ours who believes I might be too amnesiac to remember all the faces of students I have encountered. So, you now understand my predicament? As I sit here obeying the order of the Mechanic: "Open it!" ...

Who is a terrorist? The one who spreads fear And doles out terror like poisoned cakes. The one who wants to live But others must die in the process. The one who feels that his opinion is superior to others' The one who hides his relatives away from the calamity he engenders. Who is a terrorist? The friend who maligns you at your absence and comes to sup with your family. The friend whose heart is closed to you when you hold him in a warm embrace. The friend that will readily join others to murder your reputation. The friend who is always in an unnecessary self-imposed competition with you. Who is a terrorist? The ruler that sacrifices his subjects in order to perpetuate himself in power. The ruler who feels that he knows what his people want best. The ruler who will not sacrifice his personal comfort for the general good. The ruler who will not succumb to popular uprising until thousands of innocent lives have been wasted. The leader who knows the truth but prefers ...

I didn’t want to blog about this, but another attempt on the evening of the same day made the urge stronger! What happened? On Friday last week, I woke up late. At a few minutes to 7.00am, I received a call. It was Charles. Purportedly an “unknown” colleague at the University of Ibadan who, by his own unsolicited admission, is now the Head of Maintenance at an unmentioned oil company in Port Harcourt. He called me by my name and put me on the defence by accusing me of having lost his number! What did Charles want? Charles used to be the Procurement Officer at the "yet to be mentioned" oil company and now the person who succeeded him wants him to give him the contact for his usual suppliers of some “undisclosed” items. According to him, he makes around 80,000 Naira (€380) on each of the items. And at each point, the “oil company” procures about 50 units of that item. He doesn’t want his successor at the lucrative Procurement Office, to know his supply source and the differ...

Assuming tsunamis are man-made, the creators of 9/11 would have had a better location than the Indian Ocean coasts. Perhaps the aeroplanes would have been spared also. Assuming earthquakes are human-made the makers of the bomb attacks in London, Mumbai and Madrid would have spared Turkey and Iran as well as the use of explosives. Assuming the twin tragedy of earthquake and tsunami which will in turn catalyse a nuclear meltdown could be conjured by humanity, the terror of embassy bombings would have been saved. Japan would have been spared of its grief. Assuming that humanity can cause the earth to convulse at will, Breivik would have used Icelandic ash clouds rather than a machine gun. But nature is more powerful. God in His Infinite wisdom apportions tragedies and comedies as He wills. How then can humans who preach that we do not have divine powers now try to usurp the divine prerogative of taking life? As you prepare for your next target. As you ingeniously device better ...

When we were kids, we all enjoyed the privilege of laying all our cares on the two heterosexuals whose moment of enjoyment produced us! When we demand for biscuits, ice creams and whine about sundry irrelevances, it will appear that we are questioning them: "Did I ask you to give birth to me?" "Why didn't both of you seek my consent before bringing me into this terror-ridden world. I truly can't obliterate the vision of our fathers obtaining permission from us before spewing our slimy selves into our mothers. It's even much more glaring when I imagine myself doing same nine months before my son was born. That is, assuming I know the exact "consignment" that actually turned into him. Why am I saying all these? Don't worry. Am not yet interested in x-rating my blog. My Muse is buoyed on this occasion because my one-month old son has succeeded in keeping both his mother and I awake well into the wee hours of 1st September. On the last d...