THINGS I WILL TELL GOD IF I SEE HIM NOW
One recent statement I heard which makes so much sense to me, is that
of a person who said that when she gets to the Judgment seat, she will
hold a Nigerian flag to show that she has been to hell already. And I
think, if it is possible, I will hold two of such flags to, one, show
that I've already been to hell, and two, to remind the Creator that He
possibly didn't like us that much.
You ask me, how? And I ask you: "If you were God, will you judge
people ruled by IBB, Abacha and OBJ twice the same way you will judge
those ruled by Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt and Bill Clinton?
What is annoying about this country is not that there is poverty. It
is just that there is so much wealth and a few kleptomaniac
opportunists have kept everything to themselves and their unborn
children while feeding their people with lies and subterfuge.
Can you imagine this? One spends a whole month in Europe and
experiences no pothole, no power failure, no unnecessarily prolonged
strikes, no insensitive price hikes. But spend a week here, even
during Christmas, it is just hell. I've been burning fuel of 100 per
litre for over 48 hours now. As am typing this, the sound of
generators (mine and my neighbours') are drumming confusion into my
brain cells. I don't need to tell you how many times I've been to the
mechanic in the past one week due to potholes. And then, I went out to
buy MTN recharge card only to find out they've added ten naira on top
of all denominations.
Don't ask me! Of course, I didn't buy it. Not because ten naira is too
much, but because of the sheer stupidity of the addition. Because it's
Christmas, prices go up unreasonably. A bag of water that sold earlier
for 70 naira is now 120 naira. For what? In other climes, they do
Christmas clearance sales where prices are reduced. But here, instead
of fighting of these greedy leaders, we turn on our kind, pouring out
our grievances and frustrations on those innocents who share our pain.
While these ones are doing it through price hike, boko is doing its
own through bombs, bullets - people like them, while the real
criminals fly over potholes they created through negligence in fleets
of bullet-proof SUVs with armed escorts.
On a personal level, the jungle we created takes its toll on our
ability to think creatively. For instance, check the list of posts on
my blog. In 2011, I wrote 77, 2012 34 and then as 2013 ends, this will
make it 34. Ask me why! The reason is that in 2011, I spent the
longest time outside the shores of this beloved but much-abused land.
Also, I started a book project and a novel since late 2011, and up
till now, they aren't even half way done. Don't think it is because I
am lazy, but it is because live in a society where there are no
incentives for gainful engagements.
Hence, I think I will hold a third flag; a banner on which I will
write: DEAR GOD, I WON'T SHARE HEAVEN WITH ANY POLITICIAN FROM THE
EARTHLY HELL CREATED BY THE BRITISH IN 1914!
I would have given this a different title
But I know that if I did, you won't be reading it now!
of a person who said that when she gets to the Judgment seat, she will
hold a Nigerian flag to show that she has been to hell already. And I
think, if it is possible, I will hold two of such flags to, one, show
that I've already been to hell, and two, to remind the Creator that He
possibly didn't like us that much.
You ask me, how? And I ask you: "If you were God, will you judge
people ruled by IBB, Abacha and OBJ twice the same way you will judge
those ruled by Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt and Bill Clinton?
What is annoying about this country is not that there is poverty. It
is just that there is so much wealth and a few kleptomaniac
opportunists have kept everything to themselves and their unborn
children while feeding their people with lies and subterfuge.
Can you imagine this? One spends a whole month in Europe and
experiences no pothole, no power failure, no unnecessarily prolonged
strikes, no insensitive price hikes. But spend a week here, even
during Christmas, it is just hell. I've been burning fuel of 100 per
litre for over 48 hours now. As am typing this, the sound of
generators (mine and my neighbours') are drumming confusion into my
brain cells. I don't need to tell you how many times I've been to the
mechanic in the past one week due to potholes. And then, I went out to
buy MTN recharge card only to find out they've added ten naira on top
of all denominations.
Don't ask me! Of course, I didn't buy it. Not because ten naira is too
much, but because of the sheer stupidity of the addition. Because it's
Christmas, prices go up unreasonably. A bag of water that sold earlier
for 70 naira is now 120 naira. For what? In other climes, they do
Christmas clearance sales where prices are reduced. But here, instead
of fighting of these greedy leaders, we turn on our kind, pouring out
our grievances and frustrations on those innocents who share our pain.
While these ones are doing it through price hike, boko is doing its
own through bombs, bullets - people like them, while the real
criminals fly over potholes they created through negligence in fleets
of bullet-proof SUVs with armed escorts.
On a personal level, the jungle we created takes its toll on our
ability to think creatively. For instance, check the list of posts on
my blog. In 2011, I wrote 77, 2012 34 and then as 2013 ends, this will
make it 34. Ask me why! The reason is that in 2011, I spent the
longest time outside the shores of this beloved but much-abused land.
Also, I started a book project and a novel since late 2011, and up
till now, they aren't even half way done. Don't think it is because I
am lazy, but it is because live in a society where there are no
incentives for gainful engagements.
Hence, I think I will hold a third flag; a banner on which I will
write: DEAR GOD, I WON'T SHARE HEAVEN WITH ANY POLITICIAN FROM THE
EARTHLY HELL CREATED BY THE BRITISH IN 1914!
I would have given this a different title
But I know that if I did, you won't be reading it now!
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