Sycophancy Unlimited
Just read this and thought it makes sense. It's written by our own
Pius Adesanmi. Enjoy the reading!
I suspect there is a reason God – or whichever higher force you
believe in – has denied Nigeria any statesman worthy of assembly with
towering global statesmen and world leaders in much of my adult life.
Sometimes the creator sees a man and says to himself, "kai, if I grant
riches unto this guy and make him a multi-billionaire, he'd buy up the
world's supply of oxygen and keep it in a tank in his basement. His
countrymen and the world would know no peace. He'd become that
self-righteous Pharisee who justified himself before me, pointing
contemptuously at his poor countryman who prayed quietly at the back
of the temple. He'd denge pose endlessly. Let me kuku retain him as a
poor church rat. It is better for him and for humanity that he remains
poor". I wager that's why it has not pleased God to bless us with a
statesman of Nelson Mandela's stature in, say, the last two decades.
Imagine what we would do if God were generous enough to grant us a
statesman in Nelson Mandela's bracket? Imagine if we were able to
contribute two Nelson Mandelas to the world's contemporary pantheon of
statesmen? Africa and the world would know no peace. We no go let dem
hear word again. In a country where Tony Anenih, Ibrahim Babangida,
Atiku Abubakar, Olusegun Obasanjo, and other national putrescence in
their category, are routinely referred to by our comical media as
"elder statesmen" (with zero objection from the citizenry), the first
hint of a national figure of a different mould is enough for us to go
to the market place and start boasting that Nigeria - or even the
world - is not good enough for such a character. I had to admonish
those selling political candidates and godfathers recently over that
particular line: stop telling me that Nigeria is too small or not good
enough for your candidate or godfather. Nigeria is neither too small a
stage for nor unworthy of any of her citizens – unborn, living, or
dead. Now it's Dele Momodu turn to disturb our national airwaves with
yeye One Week, One Statesman (apologies to TM Aluko) treatises. When
he wrote about Tony Anenih the other day, I had to read the piece
twice to be sure that he wasn't writing about Mahatma Gandhi. And I'm
reading his new piece twice over to make sure he is not confusing his
latest statesman, Godswill Akpabio, with Julius Nyerere or kwame
Nkrumah. In Momodu's reckoning, Nigeria would have become too small a
stage for Akpabio after his stint as Governor of Akwa Ibom. He must
mount the world stage, starting perhaps with a faculty position at
Harvard (we disdain biography in Nigeria, we prefer Harvardiography),
and rivaling perhaps the Clintons in global circuits of paid speeches
and lectures. We are lucky that Mr. Momodu did not declare that he is
already in possession of an invitation to Akpabio's first address as a
world statesman at the UN in 2015. This is Akpabio we are talking
about o, Akpabio! Imagine if we had a Mandela and Mr. Momodu had to
write about him? He'd advise him to move to Mars because planet earth
was unworthy of him! Anyway sha, I hope Mr Momodu will remember to
tell his newly crowned global statesman that should he wish to
distribute bag loads of dollars to his fellow world statesmen during
meet and greets in Washington or New York, he should remember to call
it "money for lunch at McDonalds" and not "money for lunch at Mr.
Bigg's". That's my only worry. World Statesman Akpabio could forget
where he is!
By Pius Adesanmi
Pius Adesanmi. Enjoy the reading!
I suspect there is a reason God – or whichever higher force you
believe in – has denied Nigeria any statesman worthy of assembly with
towering global statesmen and world leaders in much of my adult life.
Sometimes the creator sees a man and says to himself, "kai, if I grant
riches unto this guy and make him a multi-billionaire, he'd buy up the
world's supply of oxygen and keep it in a tank in his basement. His
countrymen and the world would know no peace. He'd become that
self-righteous Pharisee who justified himself before me, pointing
contemptuously at his poor countryman who prayed quietly at the back
of the temple. He'd denge pose endlessly. Let me kuku retain him as a
poor church rat. It is better for him and for humanity that he remains
poor". I wager that's why it has not pleased God to bless us with a
statesman of Nelson Mandela's stature in, say, the last two decades.
Imagine what we would do if God were generous enough to grant us a
statesman in Nelson Mandela's bracket? Imagine if we were able to
contribute two Nelson Mandelas to the world's contemporary pantheon of
statesmen? Africa and the world would know no peace. We no go let dem
hear word again. In a country where Tony Anenih, Ibrahim Babangida,
Atiku Abubakar, Olusegun Obasanjo, and other national putrescence in
their category, are routinely referred to by our comical media as
"elder statesmen" (with zero objection from the citizenry), the first
hint of a national figure of a different mould is enough for us to go
to the market place and start boasting that Nigeria - or even the
world - is not good enough for such a character. I had to admonish
those selling political candidates and godfathers recently over that
particular line: stop telling me that Nigeria is too small or not good
enough for your candidate or godfather. Nigeria is neither too small a
stage for nor unworthy of any of her citizens – unborn, living, or
dead. Now it's Dele Momodu turn to disturb our national airwaves with
yeye One Week, One Statesman (apologies to TM Aluko) treatises. When
he wrote about Tony Anenih the other day, I had to read the piece
twice to be sure that he wasn't writing about Mahatma Gandhi. And I'm
reading his new piece twice over to make sure he is not confusing his
latest statesman, Godswill Akpabio, with Julius Nyerere or kwame
Nkrumah. In Momodu's reckoning, Nigeria would have become too small a
stage for Akpabio after his stint as Governor of Akwa Ibom. He must
mount the world stage, starting perhaps with a faculty position at
Harvard (we disdain biography in Nigeria, we prefer Harvardiography),
and rivaling perhaps the Clintons in global circuits of paid speeches
and lectures. We are lucky that Mr. Momodu did not declare that he is
already in possession of an invitation to Akpabio's first address as a
world statesman at the UN in 2015. This is Akpabio we are talking
about o, Akpabio! Imagine if we had a Mandela and Mr. Momodu had to
write about him? He'd advise him to move to Mars because planet earth
was unworthy of him! Anyway sha, I hope Mr Momodu will remember to
tell his newly crowned global statesman that should he wish to
distribute bag loads of dollars to his fellow world statesmen during
meet and greets in Washington or New York, he should remember to call
it "money for lunch at McDonalds" and not "money for lunch at Mr.
Bigg's". That's my only worry. World Statesman Akpabio could forget
where he is!
By Pius Adesanmi
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