Izuu's Turn

(According to the Gospel of Naijalooters) (1) And seeing the multitudes,Corruption went up into Aso Rock; and when he was set, the politicians came unto him. And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying: (2) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the nation. (3) Blessed are they that rig elections, for they shall be elected. (4) Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly. (5) Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after public funds; for their accounts shall be filled. (6)  Blessed are the bribe-takers, for they shall obtain in foreign currencies. (7) Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers, for they shall loot in subsidies. (8) Blessed are the bootlickers, for they shall be called the Federal "Executhief" Council. (9) Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption's sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth. (10) Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate...

In order not to further anger myself, I have refused to calculate how much $600,000 is in local currency. That notwithstanding, I am aware  of how many lives it can change. Yet, it is offered as bribe to someone, so that he can commit a crime! The person offering the bribe And the one collecting Are the same!  Guilty, no matter their excuses: "I gave to implicate" or  "I collected to expose" All are lies! This is a true case of  everything that is wrong with my country! Moneybags, who do not  have carrying limits And politicians, who for want of conscience Are planted to do the bidding of those who will rather die than to see the country get better! When my people say, that "Crises in the land is to the benefit of titled  men!" Little did I know they were talking of the entire country. The problem with Nigeria  is simple: People who are benefitting from the commotion, will never stand by and see a solution com...

A write up from a person whom I share in his view Peter Olumuyiwa On hearing about the plane crash, I decided to board a cross country bus back 2lagos,after all passengers were boarded, a customer asked the driver to put on the ac,the drivers' response was "its not working",everyone on board took it as fate including I, saying to myself " just get me to lagos ac or not" but the dissatisfied customer did not however stop,he called the customer care number on his ticket,& insisted that the reason he travels cross country is because of their services,and asked why this was changing,to my greatest surprise,the bus was changed and an air conditioned bus was provided, that's when it struck me. shame on the person that sent a broadcast saying he had flown in the said aircraft before, and witnessed the problems. why did he not send out a broadcast then and perhaps his complains might have reached the aviation minister, shame on the engineers that are just tel...

"In 1985, my primary school teacher told me that General Babangida was the president and General Buhari was the former president. She also said that we are the leaders of tomorrow. Twenty seven years later, both Babangida and Buhari are still vying for presidency. Therefore, it is either my teacher lied or tomorrow is yet to come" This is a full text of the BB Message I received yesterday on the 13th Democracy day celebration for Nigeria. I have placed side-by-side, above, two facts that will aid us in recalling the not too distant history of the beginnings (or entrenchment) of Nigeria's downward slide into the spheres of systemic corruption, unemployment and extreme poverty. I almost started by saying that I do not want to be biased, but I am reminded that it is often those who openly claim not to be biased that end up being the greatest of bigots! What else do you want me to say? "1986 Deadline" perhaps stated in 1985 or earlier than t...

It has started again. They are taking their positions Digging into their trenches Cleaning up and arraying their arsenal It is the same cry all over again Mewing! Braying! Mooing! Bleating!  Shouting! Cursing! Abusing! Swearing! Shouting foul even before the contest begins They are angling all over again Like white vampires and black witches Honing their talons and canines For the blood-sucking spree They are scheming early again Plotting selfishly for the suffering people's death Even when they are still expecting  gains of democracy Promised in the last elections Now, it is the war of words all over again And we foolishly, like sacrificial lambs Already in tow, taking sides, lining up  For our own massacre at their selfish altars Taking up our usual stupid defence; Religion. Tribe. Class. Refusing to learn from experience that Hunger does not know creed nor ethnicity Idiots. Stupid fools. Block heads! Those w...

I woke up in the morning Something must have aroused me Not the timer, or is it alarm they call it these days I was very sure it was something else A feeling ..., a sensing of something good Not my wife's kitchen artistry Because I could have awoken only when it is ready Doing so earlier is just torture of longing With the bed sheets crawling all over me as I stirred I looked around the room Behold, a shaft of light came directly at me Reflexively, I jumped out of bed Slowly crept towards the source of the light What I saw was, in the simplest words, GLORIOUS! Every Nigerian, irrespective of creed, religion or tribe Dressed in resplendent white, going Towards that ray of light coming from somewhere ahead Singing the old national anthem: "Nigeria, we hail thee!" A thunderous, clangorous, united throng! In that instant too, I became transformed  At once, seeing myself floating out of the window And in the very midst of these desirable Nigeria I cou...

Jonathan, for me here, is a metonymic allusion to the Nigerian politicians from the Federal to the Local Government levels. It's nothing personal at all. I respect the president and as such I am peeved greatly by individuals who disparage his family, especially our dear first lady, for her so-called mishandling of English grammar. The most annoying aspect of this is that these characters seem to be oblivious of their own misfiring. I have learnt that those who learnt English better than us, hardly use it to measure intelligence. My angst with today's politician does not suppose that I blame them for the intractable hunger in the nation, but because they have failed to make the changes necessary to give us hope for a better tomorrow. I am not talking about the government-owned media white-wash and glossy statements of politicians but about personal sacrifices for the common good. How can someone own several palatial homes in one city alone?  How can an individual ow...