Izuu's Turn

  Just this morning, I was walking my children to school, and I saw this young, handsome, African man dutifully putting waste bins into the truck. It is sometime before 8 and it is still dark. We exchanged greetings, he smiled warmly, and we acknowledged that African hood in silence, sealed with a smile and a nod of the head. Then I passed, but my thoughts did not. It dwelt with this young man and wondering whom his relatives are – some fools back in Africa who would be complaining that he is sending little money or nothing at all. Some of these entitled brethren range from blood siblings to schoolmates, and people who saw him pass to school on foot everyday. The African way: the child belongs to the community and anyone you do not send money to becomes a sworn enemy in whose eyes you instantly become stingy and selfish. Some of these claimants will not come down their high horses to do the kind of job this brother is doing here. My mind went back to Nigeria, to how we naturally l...

People are very nice generally. You know this when you see someone hurt in an accident or someone collapses in the middle of the street. Every one becomes concerned. The reasons for may differ, bit there's hardly any one that looks away from an individual or persons that are involved in an accident. But when you need help yourself. I mean when you actually ask for help by yourself. It's shocking how, in the main, we draw excuses of why the help wouldn't come other than the help you actually need.   Why? Why do we get more help when we are helpless and visibly can do little for ourselves that when we actually ask for it? Like an aged person trying to get somewhere or do something. Or even a pregnant woman. Which reminds me quite humorously about this friend of mine who received unsolicited helping in crossing an open sewer, with an unsolicited admonition to take it easy on herself as a young mother-to-be, because this helper thought she was pregnant. She didn't bothe...

My country is indeed an interesting place! I read with consternation as a couple of women reportedly emerged on social media to announce to the world what their spouses do and whatnots. I believe the whole noise came off one of the events on the ongoing BBNaija show where one of the contestants reportedly washed the pants of his love interest. And the dying-to-be-distracted throng of Nigerian youths started another session of tantrum throwing on the internet over whether Neo (so is his name) should have or have not washed Vee's (I hope am correct) panties. And the stuff even made it to  Premium Times  and BBC .  So much noise about nothing, if you ask me! This is not the first time this is happening. In a previous season of BBNaija, another housemate sparked controversies for washing the undies of his love interest. A lot of internet perfectionists came out with condemnations or adulations. Others came with nothing. I call it the dying-to-be-distracted throng. The mass of...

I have been hibernating for a while now; observing rather than speaking, meditating instead of rationalizing. So many things going bad around the globe: from mass shootings to going on a killing spree with a truck. Sometimes I wonder whether humanity hasn't somehow degenerated into some primeval mode. On the other side of the spectrum is the mass killings from the sky, with drones and fighter jets. The same humanity that is being ravaged by myriad diseases and natural disasters still finds itself honing the skills for the production of weapons of mass destruction rather than collectively working towards finding a way to solve their other more salient challenges. I have always believed that much of the world's conflicts stem from the disparity between the haves and the have-nots. Let's look at the balance of power amongst countries. The West against the rest of the world. The "West" also includes Europe and Australia which are not in anyway in the West, and ...

I was watching Pete Buttigieg on Fox TownHall the other day, and he made this interesting comment when asked about President Trump. He said that it is the nature of the grotesque that you just can't look away. That statement had multiple meanings for me. For instance, I could identify how it captures the entire gamut of all I've been saying about stand-up comedy and jokes because I am yet to know a joke that does not stir up the abnormal, the incongruous, denigration, in fact, in general, the grotesque. In spite of the negativities that they elicit, jokes still make us laugh, smile or even have a sense of wellness when they do not offend us. What is the grotesque? A few examples will suffice. I was at CDG Airport in Paris. I just finished using the toilet - I always do. Airport toilets always call to me whenever am passing through. Perhaps, I should even do an article on airport toilets I've visited. Maybe next time. So, I came out with all my hand luggage after doin...

The first time we arrived purposely to learn German, we were so enthusiastic. For me, I haven't really sat down to learn a new language, perhaps because there are no formalised institutions for learning Nigerian languages as in Germany. And that strikes me as odd! No one seems to have discovered that we could actually create formalised outlets for learning some, if not all, of our 250 languages. If that had existed, I could have spent time learning good Hausa formally in the six years that I spent teaching in Gombe.  But again, there is yet another snag: why would one pay, sometimes heavily, to learn a language that perhaps has little or no global presence? People have been learning German, French, Spanish and Portuguese, and they are now learning Chinese even in Europe. Why? The people who own those languages have some value or so they think, that those who are learning their language want. Take a look at English language. Even with Brexit, a lot of European nations are still sc...

I wouldn't have written about this if it wasn't for the manner my mind keeps returning to it. My wife and I went for "Wohnung Anziehen" in a little, prosperous-looking town called Heidesheim. Just off the train, we took a long walk because we weren't sure of how the only bus that operates in the town works. We also somehow wasn't sure of our way and the world's most trusted "Navi" wasn't much of a help since our internet connection chose that moment to go visit its ancestors. But that's not what am concerned about. We just finished our business with this beautiful family, and were standing at the bus stop - a 40+ minutes wait for the next ride into the city for our other appointment. There were no seats there. It's actually one of those bus stops on a narrow highway out of town which is usually marked out by just a signpost and nothing else. So our position was on the sidewalk, with a shrubby incline behind us and then the fenc...

OIn Igbo, they say: "Uche onye adi ya njo," meaning that "Every opinion doesn't look bad to its owner." The issue of Baifra, to me, has two sides. The first is negative, the other somewhat not very negative, at least to all concerned. I will start with the first. Any agitation that is tainted with sectionalism, becomes suspect and offensive. I do not know how this movement became so bold and violent but I sure know that it is not in our culture to attack others in order to make our case. One can have a peaceful demonstration without attacking places of worship or harassing people who are going about their normal businesses. It is simply not in our characters as Igbos. Unfortunately, some people are hijacking very laudable projects for their own selfish ends thereby making a good thing look bad. Check the Niger-Delta agitation for resource control, it was derailed when kidnappings and destruction of oil installations commenced. The society became so mone...

1. They promised us unemployment benefits during elections. They took it to the legislature and struck it out. 2. They promised us that the price of fuel in the international market will be hiked and stabilized for more revenue, and reduced locally But they won't even sit down at their posh residence in Aso Villa to do anything about it. Neither are they concerned about the fuel scarcity that has crippled the nation for almost a month now.  3. They promised us that they will boost our economy and put money in our pockets through job creation and employment. Now their governors are threatening that they either cut down the meager N18,000 minimum wage or they retrench.  4. They promised to end insurgency within three months. Yet they won't come out to tell us that our soldiers are being massacred in their hundreds. Haven't they moved the army headquarters to the Notheast? What is happening now?  5. They promoted a campaign of calumny against the previous government...

It is shocking that a fellow Nigerian who goes through the pains of this fuel crisis will wake up and write a piece which says that Nigerians are to be blamed for the shortage in fuel supply. As I read that article, I was speechless especially given the examples the writer proffered to support the claim. For me, this is taking freedom of expression too far. It is like seeing a child in her mother's lap wailing at the top of its voice and then a passerby goes to blame the child for crying while condoling with the mother. A mother may not know what is wrong with her child but it is solely her responsibility to make sure the child stops crying. As such, she must do all she can to ensure the child is at peace. I recently spoke with a friend who duly absolved this government of blame. His own response is that the marketers stopped lifting fuel because the President is insisting that their vessels must be sighted before subsidy payment is made. He claimed that under the previous governme...

Before we start blaming others, let's compare the Paris shooting and tyesterday's bomb explosion in Yola.  (1) The press is allowed full access to the sites of the the tragedy in Paris but in Yola, we are yet to see actual pictures in the Nigerian media. Of course, the army would have cordoned off the entire area. (2) Within 24 hours, the Chief Prosecutor has addressed the world to give a timeline of the Paris shooting in a press statement. In 9ja, enh? Did you say Chief what? Did you say press statement? (3) Under 24 hours, suspects names started emerging in the Paris shooting. Here, respect yourself if you want to blame a specific religion or tribe. In fact, yesterday, I saw a "John" in the names of BH kingpins. We are watching to see where that will lead. (4) President Hollande canceled his G20 trip, addressed the nation and within 48 hours addressed a joint session of their legislature. As if these weren't enough, they picked up an EU charter that has never be...

I am listening to T. D. Jakes' message titled, "Destinies Flock Together" as I write this and I am enthralled by his definition of rhythm and how it plays out in destiny. For him, destiny has a pulse and those whose destinies must work/walk together must fall in tune with each other's rhythm. He says: "Everything that is great has a rhythm ... life has a rhythm ... life is controlled by rhythm." For us to succeed in life and get the rhythm of champions, we must pick up the pace in order to walk in tandem with them. And this makes me understand everything that is wrong with the present administration: it is a government that is yet to find its rhythm! A government of innumerable false starts! A government that is better in opposition than in power! A government that was so busy with attacking their predecessors even after winning the elections, that they did not see fit to prepare to turn their promises into realities. There are so many inane comments and act...